breakfast with the boyfriend and his dad all the way in viejas...let's hope the trip goes well ><
and as much as i don’t want to go, i figure aj’s been such a good boyfriend going out of his way for me all the time without convincing and i feel like i should really step up to the plate as well. i mean, i owe him that much right?
well, that and plus it’s a freakin breakfast buffet. like, helllllllooooooo i love me some breakfast food ;9
sometimes i find it weird that i talk so much when i’m one on one with some people but when i’m in a group of people like with my friends, i’m so quiet.
i remember being so loud and obnoxious when i was younger and now 10 years later i’m all quiet and withdrawn. i’d rather be by myself than with people [[sometimes]] and i’m shy even to my own parents.
like, how much does my step dad know about me? not much.
i dunno, sometimes i wish i was more outgoing but i think i like keeping to myself just watching and listening to everybody or just vibing out to my music.
and sometimes, i just feel like i cannot relate to anything or anyone more than i can relate to music. it’s my security blanket. i pull on the cape that are my headphones and just disappear in my own thoughts. if i’m in a room full of people i don’t know/don’t wanna know/dislike or if i’m trying to cope with my anxiety with my IBD, i slid on my headphones and just try to sink into the music so deep that i lose myself.
maybe that’s one of the reasons why this whole introvert habit of mine is hard to get over. i enjoy being in my own world. if someone wants in, hell, they’re more than welcome. that’s actually something i wish more people would do. that they take notice in me and wonder where my mind is and actually want to find out.
but yea, i know, that’s not always the case and i should really be making more of an effort to be a little more outgoing and i do. i try, believe me, i do. it’s just sometimes i wish they’d see me and want to get to know me first instead of the other way around :/